hey look! it's FAT stacy!

i woke up today and looked at my calendar, it said "midway 10:00".. i THOUGHT that was a physical therapy appointment because i thought that's where i usually go for physical therapy. i was told the name of the doctor i was seeing when i got to the clinic and the nurse said, "i heard you have a cyst you want dr. swaindepop to look at.." and i just said, "yeah." so when the doctor got in the office, she said to me, "i hear you have a cyst.. did the nurse weigh you?" and i said, "yeah.. i weigh like 10 lbs. more than i did the last time i was weighed and sick- so i'm like 130.. and i THOUGHT that you already gave me medicine for it because it's not painful anymore.." she said, "watch your weight so you don't get anymore.. i'll look at the cyst again to see if the medicine helped." then i let her look at my back where the cyst was and she said there's still a small head but it's healing and it should be alright if it's not causing me any pain anymore. man.. wtf.. it's almost like she was on the borderline of telling me i was fat and to "watch my weight".. i'm not sure if i'm somewhat offended because this is the first time anyone in my whole life has insinuated that i was overweight.. but i've seen TONS of women about my height who weigh MUCH more than i do. i'm pretty sure their doctors don't tell THEM to watch their weight. i've always been a slim person. in fact- the doctors were on the borderline of forcing me to get fed by FEEDING TUBE because i couldn't hold my weight. I WAS FED BY A FEEDING TUBE WHEN MY GRANDMA WAS ALIVE- A LONG TIME AGO. doctors need to focus on the more IMPORTANT priorities because it's not like i'm 150 lbs. and 5 feet. I'M 130 LBS. AND 5'2.5".. this'll be on my mind until i get weighed next. i don't plan on eating lunch for a while. i used to skip lunch back when i lived in minneapolis but that may have been because i didn't really have the money to eat it all the time. this will fuckin bother me until i hear from that fuckin doctor that she didn't MEAN to call me fat. oh well. she'll probably never do it and i'll be skin and bones the next time i go into her office, see if she tells me i'm a healthy weight then. i don't think anyone with actual intelligence has ever called me "fat" before- so this is irritating because I KNOW IT AIN'T TRUE. i think i should go work on my spanish homework a little to get my mind off this shit. i don't know if i just got hit in the head too hard but i, HONESTLY don't think i look overweight at all- not even chunky or big boned. one might be saying, "see how you like being called "fat". that's what you get." IF I WERE TRULY FAT- I'D BE ON WEIGHT WATCHERS AND LIVING AT THE DAMN GYM (AND NO.. NOT THE COURAGE-LESS CENTER). one of the only pros to this is how my grandma used to always say it was better to be a little chunky in case you got sick (which i DID the last time i had to have surgery on my bowel blockage by my intestine). i have a tendency to have shitty luck when it comes to staying healthy.. so it's probably better for me to have spare weight to lose when i'm sick. *sigh* whatever. I CAN BE FAT STACY! i'm laughing out loud right now while typing that because it's so crazy. if this is their ploy to get me to waste more of my time at COURAGE-LESS KENNY.. they got another thing coming. i'll act like a maniac IF and WHEN i do attend that waste of time institute. i'll make sure they kick me out. i've done this shit before- don't put it past me.